Thursday, August 2, 2012

William brushes his teeth - YUCK!

I have been meaning to blog this story for a few weeks now, but I just keep forgetting!  Must be my pregnancy brain!

A few weeks ago, William, Adeline and I were racing to get out the door early in the morning.  I can't remember where we were going (maybe Mother's Day Out?), but regardless, I was trying to hustle to get two kids dressed, fed and through their morning check list before 8:30am.  Seems like an easy thing to do, but I have one 5 year old soul who is a very slow mover and is a champion "doddler."

On this particular day, I was getting frustrated because I had asked William 4 times to go brush his teeth because the car was leaving in 5 minutes.  He just didn't I asked 6 times and told him this would be the last call for the tooth brush because I was going to put Adeline in the car.  Well, that must have lit a fire under him because the kid hates to be alone and the very thought of me driving off without him (which I would never do) put him in high gear. 

William asked me where his tooth brush was and I of course told him it was upstairs on the counter next to the white tube of toothpaste where it sits 365 days of the year.  Always struggling to listen, he probably asked me this question 3 times in one minute.  Yet another frustrating moment in my frantic race to the car that day. 

So the next thing I know, William has brushed his teeth and comes downstairs with the most disgusted look on his face.  "Mom, that was THE WORST MOST GROSSEST TOOTHPASTE you have ever bought.  DO NOT buy that again."  There was even some wet white stuff around his mouth where we did his best to spit it out.  I nodded my head and didn't think much about the toothpaste because sometimes William ends up using the adult toothpaste which for a kid tastes very bad.  It is so minty fresh that it comes across as "hot and burning" to a kid.  So, I took it for what I heard, grabbed my keys, two kids, and we finally headed out the door.

Over the course of this particular day, William commented on the nasty toothpaste 6 times.  During our drive, he randomly told me how terrible the toothpaste tasted, one time he asked me what brand the toothpaste was and to never buy it again.  Then another time he asked me what makes me sad and I gave an answer only to ask him the same question in which he matter a factly stated, "I am so sad that I had to use that horrible toothpaste.  It was SO BAD."   And this played out a few other random times during the day. 

Well after about the 5th toothpaste comment, I was curious.  I mean, he never complains like this - much less about something as basic as toothpaste.   I was so puzzled.  I told him how sorry I was that he used the adult toothpaste and that was about the extent of my sympathy. 

During bath time, I was fiddling over at the sink doing something for myself when I casually looked down at the counter.  There it was.  The "AH HA!" moment.  The stars were alined and I immediately knew what William used to brush his teeth that morning........

BINGO.  Yep.  There was a white tube of hydrocortisone cream sitting next to his damp tooth brush.  He did exactly as I told him and picked up the "white tube of toothpaste" that morning to brush his teeth.  William was in the bath tub when I figured this out and I casually showed him the creamy tube and asked if it was the "toothpaste" he used.  "YES! THROW THAT AWAY MOM!  It is SO GROSS!" 

I will admit - I busted out laughing.  I mean hysterical laughter.  The kind that brings out tears and hurts your stomach.  I thought it was the FUNNIEST thing I had heard in a LONG LONG TIME!  And, it was pretty much the 3rd lowest parenting moment of my life. LOL. 

William wasn't sure why I was laughing so hard, but I brushed it off and collected myself.  Then you will be happy to know that my responsible side called Poison Control.  The man at PC kinda chuckled as I told the story - I am sure it's not everyday these emergency folks hear about a kid who uses anti itch cream as toothpaste.  Nevertheless, he assured me that if William had gone the entire day without one symptom of an illness, he was probably just fine.  He also told me that the cream has a 1% medicated formula which makes it very mild should a child swallow it.  I was relieved and thanked the PC officer for reassuring me. 

I never told William what happened.  It was such an honest mistake for a 5 year old and his mom.  I don't even know why the cream was on the counter or if William found it in a drawer with the toothpaste.  The kid is working on his reading skills but it was just another signal to me that I can't trust him to know right from wrong.  So I let it go even though a huge cloud of guilt hanged over my head. 

That night while Dan and I were watching tv, I busted out laughing with tears in my eyes and a baby in my belly who probably was sea sick from my laughter.  I repeated the story to Dan and both of us were rolling on the floor.  Terrible.  I know!

And so to my William, I am sorry for rushing around like a nut that morning and dismissing your gross comments about the toothpaste.  Part of me thought you were just being 5 and the other part of me was just glad you finally brushed your teeth after I had asked 6 times. One thing is for sure, your teeth are never going to itch!


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