Sunday, September 23, 2012

Three times the blessing

39 weeks, the evening before my c-section
39 weeks, the day before your birthday!

Dear Baby Girl Barron,

As I sit here writing this letter to you, I simply cannot believe that we will meet in 2 days.  It feels like yesterday when I had a gut feeling that you were growing inside my belly.  I just knew it.

It was January and we had just moved to Tulsa 3 months prior to knowing you were on the way.  We moved cross country, bought a house, William started school, we moved into an apartment, I was taking care of your 6 month old sister, and we started the remodel process on the new house....a very slow process but one that is almost complete. 

 During those busy months, you were my constant companion. You were silent, but I knew you were there with me.  Life was moving SO fast and there were many, many times that my mind was cloudy and overwhelmed by all that was going on.  There were days when I was so tired and never stopped moving because I was SO busy getting settled in a new city and taking care of your siblings. 

When I found out that I was expecting YOU, my world stopped and my heart simply overflowed with gratefulness and a love that you will never know until you have your own children.  You are a dream come true and a mighty prayer that was answered.  All the chaos around me fell to the side and YOU became the delight of my heart.   Nothing on my checklist mattered and nothing was urgent anymore.  You changed my focus and over the course of 9 months, I treasured every bump, every kick, every ultrasound with YOU. 

As you will learn about your mom, I am ALWAYS thinking about you, William and Adeline.  There isn't one second of any day that I don't worry about each of you.  I want to make sure you are happy and well adjusted and I want to keep your daily routine positive and fun. I want to raise each of  you with a grateful heart, respectful character, and a twinkle in your eye.  Being a mom is a challenge.  Some days are really tough and I am pushed to the end of my rope.  But everyday is wonderful too. 

This pregnancy was way too fast.  I tried relentlessly to remember all those days with you in my belly.  When I would feel you, the world would stop for a second and let me enjoy our connection. 

To know that I will see you in 2 days leaves me with a bundle of emotion.  I simply cannot wait to meet you in person and hold you in my arms.  You are my third most precious gift in life, and I am so thankful to have another turn at being a mom.  I know that as the years pass by, I will look at you in awe and feel so blessed. I might try to hang on tight and I am sorry if I have trouble letting go.

 Being third might as well be like being first because YOU are always special.  You complete my heart and our family.

You are my number one priority and my everyday joy.  You are my answered prayer. 

 I have millions of dreams for you.  My hopes for you are endless.  My prayers for you are steadfast. 

So on September 25th, I hope you will come into this world happy, healthy and crying loud!  Because your Mom will have tears rolling down her face and a heart so full of happiness.



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